Unbecoming and Reclaiming: Stripping Away the Labels

Welcome back to the porch. Today, we're going to talk about deconstruction and learning to live cyclically. Specifically, we are going to discuss IDENTITY.

A lot of times, when we talk about deconstruction, it's through the lens of deconstructing Christianity or religion. And yes, sometimes that is a major part of one's deconstruction journey. For my own personal journey, when I started deconstructing four years ago, it did start with religion because it was so heavily ingrained in my identity, so I had to release that mental framework first. But as I got further away from Christianity and healed my "church wounds", I realized that I also had to deconstruct the mental frameworks instilled in me by society, my parents, peers, the schools I attended, and the organizations I was involved in.

Deconstruction is not just about breaking free from religion. The definition of deconstruction means breaking something down into its individual parts to analyze, understand, or expose its hidden meanings, biases, or contradictions. Essentially, to live cyclically, you have to deconstruct the psychosocial schema of who you thought yourself to be that formed through social experiences, the roles you hold, relationships, ect.

One way that we heavily identify ourselves is through labels. When someone asks you to tell them about yourself, a lot of times we list a bunch of labels or titles. In my early twenties, while trying to figure out my identity, I sought out a bunch of labels to help me describe who I thought I was, such as MBTI (INFJ) or understanding my star sign. However, on the second day of my 30-day spiritual reset, I was reading Until Today! (a daily devotional for spiritual growth and peace of mind by Iyanla Vanzant). On the entry for October 8th, Vanzant writes, "I will realize my own worth when I accept the labels placed on me don't always fit".

As I was doing my reading and sitting with Spirit, my Ancestors/ Spiritual court told me, "Maybe it is time to take off the labels. You have found comfort in them, but in what ways are they restricting you?" So that is the question I pose to you: "Which labels that have been placed on you by others or yourself restrict you from living cyclically?" Remember, in the previous post, I defined living cyclically as living a life that continuously restores your physical vitality and spiritual strength so that you feel holistically well. So, in what way do labels restrict you from living that way?

Journal Prompt:

In the book, Iyanla Vanzant says that to know your own self- worth, you must be able to:

1. Describe Yourself

   1. Exceptionally You Wellness Unbecoming/ Reclaiming Journal prompt: Who others think I am vs. Who I know I am

2. Establish your own Expectations of Self

   1. Exceptionally You Wellness Unbecoming/ Reclaiming Journal prompt: What expectations have been placed on me vs. What I expect for myself (It might help to list your titles)

3. Encourage Yourself

   1. Exceptionally You Wellness Unbecoming/ Reclaiming Journal prompt: What do I doubt? Create affirmations around doubt to challenge those false beliefs.

4. Support and Nurture

   1. Exceptionally You Wellness Unbecoming/Reclaiming Journal prompt: If you were your best friend & she felt the way you feel right now, how would you support or nurture her today?

5. Be willing to be disliked

   1. Exceptionally You Wellness Unbecoming/Reclaiming Journal prompt: What insecurities do I have today & who am I afraid will point them out & why?

6. Be willing to violate the descriptions & confines placed upon you

   1. Exceptionally You Wellness Unbecoming/ Reclaiming Journal prompt: What do you want to rebel against today & how will you go about doing that? (Think outside the box).

Broadening the awareness of how you view yourself is the starting point of your deconstruction journey.